Disclaimer: The Tiffany & Earl feature is a satirized account of Providence College. Both the question and answers are purely works of fiction. Tiffany & Earl are anti-heroes whose comments ultimately satirize the stereotypes they each represent.
Dear Tiff and Earl,
My friends and I are trying to unwind and feast after a long Friday. Which take-out food do you think is better: Wings Over Providence or Big Tony’s? Thanks for the help guys!
Typical Hungry PC Student
Dear Hunger Games,
You aren’t taking enough risks. Those are safe places to eat from, where your chances of catching an infectious disease or parasite are too slim. Go eat Li Li Wok. Chances are if you end up on your death bed asking for your Last Rites, you’ve done it right. Live life to the extreme!!!!
BTW no experience with these places. I only eat cotton balls dipped in BBQ sauce from the East Side with all those hip folks.
Chanel No. 2
Dear Freshman 50,
Well obviously it’s Big Tony’s. I mean how can you beat those calzones? You can’t. Although I suppose a pound of chicken from Wings Over also can’t be beat. Also, those waffle fries….wait, what was I talking about? Ah yes, Wings Over being far superior. Or Big Tony’s, or…um…hmmm. I suppose the best answer as to who is better is whichever one is willing to hire me as a paid spokesman. So how about it Big Tony’s and/or Wings Over? I will work for food.
In Dollars We Trust,
Earl the Sell-Out